What is a regulated nervous system, anyway?

I came across a post today on social media, which had just shy of 7000 likes.

The post was a 'POV' series of aestheticised photos and captions arranged in a 'starter pack' style image, posted by a brand that has over 60,000 followers. I've included a screenshot of the post below:

Images like this can normalise conversations about nervous system regulation. However, they may also perpetuate harmful disinformation, especially for young people.

While the disinformation online is nothing new, there is something distinctly frustrating (and pervasive) about brands taking terms out of context to push for specific, highly idealised, ways of being. Posts like this frequently lack references or an evidence base in scientific literature; however, someone may well look at the image on the right and feel shame for not being able to embody any one of these criteria.

Pseudoscience about the nervous system is being repackaged and sold as aspirational lifestyle content. This is often used to market the latest wellness products. And unfortunately, content like this is becoming more and more common.

Another image in the same photoset. While the sentiment in the caption seems genuine, I wonder what the choice of image says about this creator's scope of what and who is (and what and who is not) desirable?

In light of this, I thought I would put together some information about what it actually means to have a 'regulated nervous system', without some of the marketing and euro-summer optics.

Bringing it back to basics on the nervous system

Your nervous system is made up of your brain, spinal cord, and nerves. It's a complex, interconnected system that helps your lungs know how to breathe, keeps your heart beating, your digestive system functioning, and informs how your body responds to stress. [1] Your nervous system is not necessarily 'regulated' or 'dysregulated' at any given time, but more on an axis of 'regulating' all of these functions (and more!) at all times, even when we're asleep. Disorders and diseases that impact nervous system function range in presentation but include Alzhiemer's, meningitis, multiple sclerosis, and stroke. [2]

So, what does psychological theory and research say about the nervous system?

When psychotherapists and psychologists talk about 'nervous system regulation', they are usually referencing relatively recent advancements in research on the impact of trauma on the body's sense of safety. These include theories about the nervous system popularised by Deb Dana, Bessel Van Der Kolk, Gabor Maté and others. [3] Understanding the body as an intelligent mediator and contributor to our psychological experience can be really important for becoming more self-aware and in tune with our inner and outer worlds. Recognising how and where difficult experiences and traumas create tension in our bodies can help us understand how and why we can fall into unhelpful coping mechanisms; why some things we 'just can't' talk about; and why we might swerve or avoid certain personalities.

Credit: Anthony @ Mind My Peelings, 2020.

Credit: Felt Sense Psychotherapy & Somatic Coaching.

Some ideas about nervous system regulation from a psychological angle are included on the left. The first is a model called the 'Window of Tolerance' by Dan Siegel (1999), the latter is called the 'Autonomic Ladder' by Deb Dana (2018).

These theories posit that a nervous system is not at once 'regulated' or 'dysregulated' but that they occupy zones that serve different purposes. While it might be a far-flung dream to enjoy a state of relaxation at all times, the truth is that this would not actually be desireable at all moments. Some stress is healthy and necesssary to respond accurately to our environment. If you came across a volatile person in an unfamiliar place, you may well get stressed and anxious, but this would be your nervous system doing its job! Meanwhile, experiencing a nervous system 'shutdown' (withdrawal, exhaustion, depression, etc) or, within these two models 'hypoarousal' or 'dorsal vagal activation' respectively, would be a completely appropriate response to devastating loss.

Difficulties arise when our body gets stuck in one state of activation, which can happen as a result of long-term stress or a past history of trauma. We can know this is happening because suddenly, it doesn't feel safe to regulate with emotional or physical presence (such as breathwork etc). Attempts to regulate can then become more activating, contributing to the problem.

So how can counselling help 'regulate' our nervous system?

Knowing how and when our body becomes activated into these states is the gold. This allows us to work with our body and its myriad defences to get us to a stage where we have more control around entering into relaxed and safe body states.

We don't need to push or force our nervous system to do anything it doesn't feel safe and able to do. Instead, we invite it to safety by working with the body on states and situations where there appears to be a lack of safety, especially when 'dysregulation' becomes chronic. Working with a qualified counsellor who can help hold a mirror up to these states and offer space for a co-regulating presence (a fancy term for 'being' with someone in a helpful way!) can all help shift the needle to allow more time for presence and calm.

Effective somatic-informed counselling will ally with your states of regulation, not drive or work against them. Within my counselling practice, we take time to look at how the body responds to our minds to give a greater awareness, understanding, and integration. That means feeling relaxed, numb, agitated, anxious, angry, lost, or zoned out are all welcome.

For more tips and tricks for creating calmness within the body and for tapping into relaxed nervous system states, check out my interview with Tiarna Meehan from Dazed here.

To book an intial session with me, you can contact me by emailing me here: amberthornton.work@gmail.com

I don't use generative AI in any of my posts. All my content is written by me.

In-text References

[1] Cleveland Clinic, "Nervous System", Available: URL: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/21202-nervous-system (Accessed: 04/05/2026)

[2] John Hopkins, "Overview of Nervous System Disorders", Available: URL: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/overview-of-nervous-system-disorders (Accessed: 04/05/2026)

[3] See:

Dana, D. (2021) Anchored: How to befriend your nervous system using polyvagal theory, Penguin

Maté, G. (2003) When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, Penguin.

Van Der Kolk, B. (2014) The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the healing of Trauma, Penguin.

Amber Thornton Glasgow Counselling and Psychotherapy